thanks a lot, jerk.

So, here's the sitch. I go home every day for lunch. I don't have the money to go out to eat all the time, and I am too lazy to just pack a lunch. Yesterday, I do like I always do and head to the apartment. As I'm getting in my car to go, I notice the backseat is looking bright. I turned my head and see that the back passenger side window is busted.

WTF. Seriously.

The glass was still intact, but it was completely spiderwebbed. I saw a man weedeating when I first arrived, but I just don't believe a rock would do this kind of damage. At least, not one that a weedeater would pick up.

Then I saw something else that made me a tad suspicious: a croquet mallet not but a few feet from my car.

What the hell?!? I don't live in the ghetto! I have never had this happen to me! Gah!


This is the damage. The hole wasn't there originally, but as I drove down the bumpy streets of Birmingham, chunks of it began to fall.


And this is the reason I suspect foul play. I took the weapon in question and placed it in my car. Somebody's next game of croquet is going to be very difficult. Take that, vandal.

as soon as, as soon as, as soon as...

I hate when I feel like things are out of control. When some aspect of my life that I can't get a handle on, it makes me want to control anything else around.

I clean.

I'm not the neatest person, but sometimes I get on these binges where nothing is ever straight enough or neat enough. I'm having company tonight, so I have a reason to have cleaned, but there are also some aspects of my life that I feel I can't get in order. So then I start cleaning and organizing. And if I feel like I can't do it (ie, my room looks awful), I give up and spend as little time in that room as possible.

Ugh.

Or I organize. I start making lists and detailing every little thing wrong with my life, like a "fix-it" to-do list. Of course, I never really have the satisfaction of crossing anything off the list.

Right now I'm having some issues with money (then again, who isn't ALWAYS struggling with money?), so I made a little Excel spreadsheet of what bills need to be paid and when, how much, etc.

I make post-its reminding me to do stuff. I make so many reminders to the point where I feel like I've already done whatever it is that needed to be done. I visualize myself succeeding at whatever it is that I'm having trouble with to the point where I think I've already fixed it.

But I haven't.

Kinda like I picture myself going running or walking or working out to the point where I honestly think I've already done it. I even feel tired.

I always tell myself, "So much is going on right now. As soon as everything settles down, as soon as I pay this off, as soon as, as soon as..." But it never comes.

I'm such a control freak. But an unmotivated control freak.

what's in a name?

I love it when people use my name when they are talking to me. I think it shows a certain amount of respect, if you will, to refer to someone directly and not just treat your interaction like a routine chore. I usually try to use someone's name at least once in a conversation. If it's my superior, I usually greet them with their name.

This whole thought came back up this morning when I first arrived at work. I was in the ladies' room, trying to avoid Stall Talkers, and I was on my way out when I heard, "Summer?" I walked back in to see who it was. It was a woman i work with here, with whom I have never really talked. She was just letting me know her response to an email I'd sent out to several employees regarding a project we're working on in Product Development. I thanked her for letting me know (using her name), and went about my way.

This is what struck me: I've never even spoken to her, and I think that e-mail was the first contact we had. However, she knew who I was and cared enough to use my name rather than be like "Hey!" There are some other people here at the company that say "Good morning Summer!" when I see them in the hall, and it usually makes my day.

I will say this, though. I worked in a restaurant for over five years, and I had to wear a nametag. While I always gave my name to customers at my tables (in addition to the tag), and I would so much rather someone call out my name rather than snap at me or say "hey you!" it kinda creeped me out to have people call me by name when I had no clue who they were. Not so much my tables, but just random people in the restaurant. Yeesh.