Slow down so I can "ketchup"

So, I'm dining with my sister at the local Arby's restaurant, and I find myself in a situation to which I am not unfamiliar.

I sat down with my tray of curly fries and Arby's signature roast beef, and I see there are several items on the table, possibly left over from the previous patron to occupy the booth. Several nakins and unopened condiment packets. At first glance, one might think this table was dirty and move on.

But, oh no. Not I. I saw deeper to the heart of the matter.

I don't know about you guys, but many a time have I been eating at a fast food restaurant and found myself with a surplus amount of condiments and napkins. But instead of just throwing them away, we would always leave them on the end of the table, thinking "We'll just leave these here for the next person to come along and use, so they won't go to waste. What a good deed we have done!"

But I ask you - how many times have you sat down to a table and thought, "Sweet! Check out all these ketchup packets and napkins already on the table! Now I don't have to get up and get any! It sure is lucky that whoever sat down before me was charitable enough to leave them for me!"

Hell, no, you haven't. If you are anything like me, you think "Ugh, gross, that is so nasty" as you gently push them further away. Or maybe you thrust them forcefully. Either way, I know I only trust condiments I get with my own two hands.

One more quick comment on cleanliness. Does anyone remember a time when Arby's had the sauce, ketchup, and horsey sauce right on the tables, in the squeeze bottles? Talk about on unsanitary. I never thought too much of it until I saw a kid sucking on one like a kitten nursing on its mama cat's nipple. Yes, sir, that was the end of using the squeeze bottles for Summer.

Anyway. That's all for tonight. More later.