Christmalicious

Oh, my Lord. This is amazing.

publishing humor

I just so happened to click the "next blog" button on my browser window, and the very next blog had a post of publishing jokes. I thought they were cute :) The first one is my favorite, but you can check out the original for the entire post.

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I can't tell whether you mean 'change a light bulb' or 'have sex in a light bulb'. Can we reword it to remove the ambiguity?

presents from Christmases past

It's funny to me when I think about how things change as far as what we get for Christmas each year.

I remember one year in particular, I can't recall how old I was, but all I wanted was the McDonald's Happy Meal Magic fry maker and cookie maker. It was part of this whole set of toys that was said to recreate actual McDonald's food (!).

Lo and behold, my wonderful parents (or was it Santa?) bought me both for Christmas that year. My cousin, Nathan, also received part of the set, and we could wait to set up our own makeshift McDonald's in my parents' kitchen.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

I don't know what I was honestly expecting, but imagine my childish surprise upon discovering that the "french-fry maker" didn't make french fries at all. (Maybe I thought that they would package a child's toy that allowed children 6 & up to dip potato strips into hot grease. I don't know.)

Instead, the "french-fry maker" consisted of running a piece of crustless white bread through a shredder of sorts. You were then supposed to sprinkle the "fries" with "seasoning," or a mixture of cinnamon and sugar. Not like fries at all.
But at least they tasted good. Not like the "cookie maker." Talk about disgusting.

The manufacturers of this item, I believe it was Mattell (I'm praying to God neither contained lead paint), thought they could fool innocent young children by including an exact replica of the McDonald's cookies box for the user to store their homemade treats in, therefore making it look more like the real thing.

It sure as hell didn't taste like the real thing.

The so-called "cookies" were made by grinding up a graham cracker, mixing it with water and I think chocolate chips, and then pressing it into the shape of a beloved Mickey D's character.

Water, graham cracker crumbs, and chocolate chips. Yum.

I think there was also a McNugget maker and hamburger maker (I don't even want to know how), a milkshake maker (it used milk and instant pudding...wouldn't that technically be a pudding maker?), and a drink fountain (as simple as it sounds, I believe.) However, after that one Christmas, I became a jaded little third-grader and discontinued my desire for the Happy Meal Magic set. (For those interested, I found a few of the sets up for bid on eBay. Good luck!


Here it is, folks. The McDonald's Happy Meal Magic cookie maker. In all it's glory. I love that they have an example of the graham cracker going through the grinder, and then wow! cookies emerge from below.


The McNugget maker. I can at least understand making cookies from crushed-up grahams, but I really don't know how one might make anything at home that might remotely taste like chicken. This scares me. That albino girl and Asian boy sure don't look taken aback in the least, though.


Then there's the hamburger maker. The girl on the box looks so EXCITED! She literally can't wait to eat that thing that looks eerily like a drop of fecal matter. I kinda wish I would've gotten this one for Christmas because now, my interest is piqued.



Front and back view of the shake maker. I wish I would've read the print on the front: "Make delicious shakes you can drink that look like McDonald's shakes!" Maybe then I would not have been so disappointed.
I also like that they include a checklist on the back of the box for the ingredients.


And the drink fountain. The seller for this item on eBay says this about the product: "McDONALD'S HAPPY MEAL MAGIC DRINK FOUNTAIN. MAKE DELICIOUS THIRST-QUENCHING DRINKS THAT LOOK LIKE McDONALD'S DRINKS!"
Wonderful. Not just any drinks, but "thirst-quenching drinks!" And make drinks that "look" like McDonald's drinks? Why would you want a drink that "looks" like a soda, when you could just pour the soda in? I understand that the novelty is in the fact that it's a dispenser, but seriously? Probably the lamest of all the Happy Meal Magic toys.

I don't have a clever title. That's a first...?

I guess it's totally objective as to what clever is.

They say time flies when you're having fun.

I'll second that.

I will also add that time flies when you had no clue what hell you are going to do with the rest of your life.

I'm graduating in less than four weeks. It's hard to believe that I've been in college for almost four and a half years. They have, however, been the best years of my life. I've met some amazing people and had some great times.

I've been finishing up my internship at The Magazine in The Big City, and it's been awesome. I've loved working here and learning about the magazine industry while working for the largest magazine publisher in the United States.

Which is why this next piece of news is so great: Last week, one of my supervisors informed me that they would like for me to stay on here for another six months as a freelance copy editor.

While the pay won't change, I won't be considered an intern and I will have a more regular schedule. Also, I have some security as far as a job for the next several months while I'm applying for more permanent positions and gaining more valuable experience.

In recent news, I just got back from New Orleans. I want to spend some time trying to write a more detailed blog about my experiences there, but for now I'll just tell you that it was life changing. I had a great time meeting some very interesting stories, and more than once I was moved to tears. There is still so much devastation in that area, and it's been over two years. It breaks my heart. Here are just two pictures of the areas we visited:




What else, what else…

This week is Thanksgiving, which means turkey and dressing – delightful. However, it also means spending time with my family.

Not so delightful.

Ah, just kidding. Somewhat. I love my mom and dad and the like, but sometimes I can't wait to get back my current home so I can go back to "missing" them.

Hope everyone is doing well.

singing in ex-salt-tation

(I transported this in from facebook, so if you read it twice, I'm sorry...then again, you didn't have to read it all.)

I'm sitting here, preparing to eat my less-than-stellar meal de Cafe Waterfall, when I stumble upon something.

I usually have to flavor my food items with some sort of seasoning, such as salt or pepper, as they are typically bland and need some umph.

Whenever I leave the Waterfall Cafe, I usually feel the need to grab a handful of prepackaged salts and peppers. I typically take the leftovers and place them in a Ziploc in my filing cabinet, waiting patiently to be used at a moment's notice.

Today was no different.

However, as I began to season my foods, I was startled as I opened up the pepper packet. There seemed to be literally three flecks in that thing. The salt packet, though, was teeming with little granules, just itching to get out. It went everywhere.

This brings me to my question. Why? Why aren't there equal amounts of each?

I also think of typical salt and pepper shakers: There are three holes for salt, two for pepper. Who decides that?

Being a recent pepper convert, in years past I might've sided with salt supporters. But in my experience, I know more people who appreciate pepper than celebrate salt. Salt is technically worse for you than pepper.

I guess I will just have to continue using 2 parts pepper, one half parts salt.

love and hate

Oh, I love Birmingham.

But sometimes...not so much. It's like a classic love/hate relationship.

I go, and I put all my faith in Birmingham, sing her praises, and then she turns around and makes me wish I'd never laid eyes on her.

This weekend, I had a fabulous dinner with some new friends I've met in the city. All was well. I met a street urchin named Theotis outside said friend's living space, and also a truck driver who sang for our dollars. It was city living at its very finest.

Then I got beaned in the head with a Checkers cup.

In case you were wondering, it was full of ice.

I don't think this little ice rocket was meant for me specifically, just some douchebag who thought he would throw it out his window as he passed all these cool people on the sidewalk. (It made me feel a little like I was on the Real World.)

One nice thing was that this kind man, Theotis, offered to run down the street and beat the shit out of this guy. I politely declined, and told him, no, that's not necessary.

Oh, Birmingham. Sometimes you are good to me, and others...you are a nasty little bitch.

I've been meaning to post a blog that is actually an update for those of you who might have been wondering. All is going well; I really like what I'm doing. I've learned a lot. As I said, for the most part, I really do enjoy living here. Every day is a new adventure. The interstate is now my friend.

And I have met some awesome amazing friends. Working at the magazine, I was afraid I'd been working with a bunch of stuck-up interns who think they're better than me.

Some of them are.

But I quickly weeded out the people I wanted to get to know, and they've proven to all be so, so much fun.

Now the only thing I'm worried about is this:

Where do I go from here?

I'm officially going to graduate in December. All I have to do is finish my internship, take the CBASE and the exit exam, and then walk. It's so exciting, and I've been waiting for this for the past four and a half years. I can't believe it's really almost over. Talk about meeting some amazing people - my JSU memories will forever be the best ones.

But when it is all over, I'm going to have to decide where I want to go and what I want to do. And who will actually have me.

And right now, I think I may want a serious, long-term relationship with my lady, Birmingham.

We will see.

ok, so I have a girl crush

I have become newly obsessed with "Grey's Anatomy" since the last season.

And I bought season three last week, and I'm slowly making my way through, and I have now stumbled upon a discovery.

I have a girl crush on Dr. Callie Torres-O'Malley.



Damn, milk really does do a body good.